Why with all the choices women have is there more dissatisfaction than ever with work-life balance?

Why, as a business coach for women, do I hear on a daily basis a cry from women in business, "Is this all there is?"

Why do women see and feel as though they have reached a dead end?

I believe that the answer is much more complicated than gender bias or a lack of advancement for women in business. The truth is women in 2013 want to believe that there is purpose in what they do. The women I speak with, with salaries of over $200K, consistently tell me how unhappy they are and how much they wish they could find a way to feel more joy at work. They often wish to go into nonprofit work assuming that working at a place with the mission of helping others will somehow elevate their happiness and desire "to do well by doing good". The mistake here is that nonprofit work like all work requires task-masters that are competent at what they do and are willing to make sacrifices for the job. We all have an opportunity to give back and particularly those with above average incomes.

A recent Boston Globe article states in its 2013 Top Places to Work survey of 76,000 individuals’ responses that employees place a much higher importance on employee appreciation, confidence and the feeling that their work is meaningful than they do on pay, benefits and work-life balance. The survey conducted by WorkPlaceDynamics seems to confirm my theory that both men and women care more about meaningful work than pay, but it doesn't measure what I see every day with the women in business I talk to, who see only a dead end in their future. So where does this pessimism stem from for women?

Sadly, the current day workplace hasn't changed as much as many CEOs would like us to believe. If anything, it has only become less family-friendly and more intrusive on our personal lives. Technology allows, no encourages, employees to work around the clock creating greater productivity per employee. Therefore, the workplace now is not just where the business pays rent, but in our cars, or whatever mode of transportation we commute by, in our bathrooms, in our bedrooms and everywhere we spend our personal time. Of course, women, no matter how much they are being paid, are saying "Is this all there is?"

(P.S. Not every woman I work with makes $200k+. Women who make far less actually see a smaller dead end sign. Why? Because they see more options for change, but still feel lost without a purpose and passion).

As a business coach who helps women start businesses the statement that follows "is this all there is?" is often "I'll become a woman entrepreneur!"

"Not so fast!" I reply. Starting a business may sound easy, but getting it up and running and taking responsibility for the day-to-day for many women and male entrepreneurs may increase your chances of hitting that dead end. Owning your own business takes every bit of your strength, time and money and then still might lead down a path to nowhere. Success in entrepreneurship is based on the right idea, executed at the right time, by the right team and even with all these rights in line 60% of all new businesses fail in the first year.

So, if you find yourself saying "Is this all there is?" ask yourself whether or not your expectations for your life are reasonable. Grab a pad of paper and write down all the things in your life that you are grateful for and all the things that make you happy and provide satisfaction for you. Be specific and detailed and be fair to all the aspects in your life. Now, on the other side of the paper write down all the areas in your life where you see only a dead end.  If you have items on both sides of the paper from the same aspect of your life - for example, love the people I work with - other side, hate my boss - then it is time to let go of what is keeping you from feeling fulfilled and capitalize on what is making you happy.

Finding gratitude in our lives and focusing on it can change the way we look at everything. Recently, a person I work with told me he has to "kick down doors and slash people's throats to get what he wants done. I responded, "That's not the way I do business. I look for something positive in everyone I work with and focus on how we can come to a mutual agreement. I have never in my life needed to use anger to get what I want."

Having choices is a wonderful opportunity and as Americans we have many. Being grateful for them and making the best of choices we have made and taking responsibility for them is difficult but necessary. Women in business must take time to look at the dead ends they see in their lives with a new lens and bravely walk down the path that is waiting beyond the sign.