Women in business; listen up, this applies to men in business as well, all that baggage (negative thoughts) you are carrying around is keeping you from being all you can be. So, here's what you can do about it....but promise me now you will pay attention and do it.

Along the way in our lives well intentioned people have given us advice as to what they believe are our strengths and weaknesses. The question we need to ask ourselves is why do we listen to what others think about us? Why as women do we allow ourselves to add one negative opinion after another onto our shoulders and carry this baggage throughout our entire lives? Why?

The answer may be simpler than you think. Women are taught early in life that it is not our responsibility to do the heavy lifting in life. (I mean that as a metaphor). In other words, we should pursue the things that come easiest to us. Listen as adults talk to and about little girls - yes, even today, this language is almost as prevalent as it was when I was growing up in the 1950s - the chatter goes something like this: "She'll make a great little Mom someday she loves to dress and feed her dolls." Or, "she loves playing school with her friends and siblings, she'll make a great little school teacher someday." 

Perhaps, you don't believe that you are saying these types of things about your daughters right now, but I promise you it is a diatribe they hear constantly and if not from you than from TV or even school.

Think about it, have you ever heard someone say while watching a little boy play with trucks that he will grow up and be a wonderful little truck driver? I don't think so. Boys are presumed to be able to take on the world the moment that they are born, and I for one am glad about it. But, I won't be really happy until we give the same advantage to all our girls.

I remember having an art teacher in 8th grade who told me that I "didn't have a creative bone in my body" because she didn't think my artwork showed potential. Well, I may not be a painter or architect or even a composer, but I know that when it comes to business I am a very creative thinker. Take that, you art teacher who had no clue what you were doing to a small child learning to find her way in a big world. I succeeded without your permission or your blessing. I succeeded because I learned to ignore negative thoughts about what and who I could be. Of course, I know I was also blessed with a Mom and Dad who believed I could do anything I wanted to do and that really meant anything. Seriously, when I was about 12 years old I asked my Dad if he thought we could get the Beatles to come play at Boston Garden. After all, they were the biggest sensation in the world and why shouldn't they come entertain the Boston crowds? My Dad looked at me and said, "Great idea, let's see if we can get Brian Epstein, the Beatles manager, on the phone right now and invite them to come." And, believe it or not, less than an hour later my Dad had found a way to call the Beatles manager and extend the invitation. The end of this story is that the Beatles DID come to play at Boston Garden a little more than a year later. My Dad wasn't the person responsible for it, but certainly paved the way, in my mind anyway.

I spend a lot of my time as a business coach inspiring women to believe they can be whatever they want to be. But, first, they must put aside what the naysayers have said. Sometimes the words were uttered during their childhood and other times more recently. My message is very simple: if you can believe it YOU can achieve it.

There are hundreds of books to motivate and inspire you, but in the end it all comes down to what you tell yourself. You have the power to be whatever you want to be. You may be thinking, "Vicki, I believe what you are saying but I have been telling myself for 2 years now that I can be a successful entrepreneur and I'm still struggling. Why should I believe what you are saying?" Because failure isn't the end it is only the beginning.

So, often we read success stories, particularly women's success stories, and learn only about the win. I spent 10 years of my life writing about women in business, politics, health care, education, law, and nonprofit and I can tell you the success part was always a small part of the story. However, it is always the part that most is written about. Please think about that.

It is time to unload the baggage that you have been lugging around with you all these years. The freedom to be anyone you want is priceless. It will provide you with wings you didn't know you had and allow you to soar to new heights. These are not just words they are truisms. I promise that changing the way you think about yourself will change your life forever.

I look forward to hearing your stories.

P.S. Of course, there is nothing wrong with growing up to be a wonderful mother, a fabulous teacher, or a competent truck driver, but these skills and talents are transferable to many other careers and the opportunities are unlimited.