There is no lack of difficult people in the workplace. Whether you are the boss, the employee or the colleague, you will have to deal with difficult people at work at one time or another.
Of course, male entrepreneurs have their share of difficult people to deal with at work as well, but in my experience, as a business coach, women entrepreneurs have a greater challenge in finding the appropriate approach, particularly when dealing with other women.
First, let's define what I mean by difficult people.
As every woman who owns a small business knows female employees tend to act differently toward a female boss than they do a male boss. Why? Because they believe that women are more likely to understand them. This misunderstanding that the roles between boss and employee are changed due to gender is many female employee's first mistake. The difficult behavior that too often raises its ugly head in these cases is:
complainer, criticizer, procrastinator, and manipulator.
Unfortunately, women have been brought up to believe that they have the right to share their feelings with ALL women (regardless of their roles) and complain about and criticise what the other woman is doing. I regularly hear from women entrepreneurs that they are taken aback when a female employee walks into their office to complain and criticize decision that have been made.
TIP # 1 Women entrepreneurs need to be prepared to listen intently to these rants. The perpetrator's first goal is to be heard. Acknowledge that with your relaxed body language and your time (when appropriate, of course). Once the complainer/criticizer has had her say, ask open-ended questions to get to the real root of the problem (there is almost always something else going on). Stay calm and be straightforward in order to disarm your employee and let her know you are pleased that she cares enough about the business to have a say. Then, state directly that as the owner you make the decisions necessary to operate the business. By listening first and then standing strong you will gain her confidence. Remember: complainers and criticizers will continue to be difficult, but the more you hold your ground the less traction they will gain.
The second biggest challenge women in small business tell me they face daily is female employees who procrastinate in getting their work done and then try to manipulate them or the situation. An example of this is my client whose administrative assistant arrives late at least 3 days out of every week. Her excuses focus on her family responsibilities believing that because her boss (my client) also has small children she will understand her morning challenges. The fact is the administrative assistant knows that she was hired to open the office each day, get the phone lines live, start the computer system, respond to emails and retrieve the daily mail. By the time the employee gets to the office she then spends the next 30 minutes making excuses for her tardiness and procrastinates over getting her job started. Over the summer, my client (the boss) took on these responsibilities more than half the time herself. Why does she put up with this procrastination and manipulation by her employee you ask? Because, as my client tells me, "she is the best administrative assistant I have ever had. Once she finally settles down to work she handles every detail of the business' operations better than I do. She talks with our customers with confidence and charms them so they love doing business with us. But, every morning I dread what will happen when I open the door of the office and she isn't there."
Tip # 2 Women entrepreneurs must directly confront procrastinators and manipulators. Employees who take an inch will eventually take a mile. Once you as a boss have lost control over the situation getting it back can become impossible. If you are standing in for your employee why would she bother to change her behavior. Everyone has an obstacle of getting to work on time once in a while, but a continuous tardy behavior shows a lack of respect. Using excuses that you, the owner, can relate to such as childcare issues is manipulation plain and simple. As a boss, you must understand that procrastinators and manipulators will not change. Their behavior is predictable. Intuitively you already know that. Therefore, in order to make changes you must state clearly your expectation of the employee's responsibilities. You must put her on notice and let her know that she can no longer control you with her actions and lack of respect. If she is truly unable to do the job you have hired her to do it is time to move on and find someone who will. Fear of losing an employee is too often based on a lack of information. In my experience, those that don't fear change move forward and the business thrives because of it.
Tip # 3 Women entrepreneurs will come in contact with many difficult people over the lifecycle of their business and while dealing with them is never easy it is the only choice if the business is to be successful. The more a woman believes in herself and keeps her eyes and attention on the business the more likely she will be able to fend of the difficult people she comes across. My final tip is to make sure you keep your emotions out of your conflicts and be clear that you expect to be treated with the same respect that you treat others. If necessary, ask others to take the time to think through what they want to say to you and let them know you will give them their time to be heard. But always, and I mean always, lead by example and demonstrate by your actions that your decisions are final.
