All entrepreneurs are confronted daily by difficult people. They are male and female, customers, employees and vendors, and they can make every small business owner's life a living HELL.
As a business coach, I work with my clients to assist them in dealing with difficult people. And, what I have witnessed over a decade is that, women entrepreneurs have more trouble dealing with difficult people than their male counterparts.
In Part 1 of this Blog, I shared how women entrepreneurs can deal with complainers, criticizers, procrastinators and manipulators. Here I invite you, women entrepreneurs, to explore how hostile, pushy, rude and obstinate people are pushing your buttons. 
As women we have been brought up to save the peace. Generations of little girls have and continue to be the peacemakers at home, on the playground and in the office. Women as peacemakers have been a powerful solution for the USA with the appointment of our last three Secretaries of States: Madeleine Albright, Condoleezza Rice and Hillary Clinton. Wouldn't you just love to be a fly on the wall while Secretary Clinton was having a conversation with Japanese Prime Minister Yoshihiko Noda or South Korean President Lee Myung-bak or any of a dozen other male leaders around the world?
As peacemakers at our places of work, women entrepreneurs may not have to avoid a World War, but we can't underestimate the hostility that can build and that can take down an entire organization. We all know angry people that even on a good day find it difficult not to take their frustration out of others. As their boss, it is your responsibility, NO YOUR STRATEGY, to diffuse their hostility head on. If the angry employee is important to your team you must earn their trust so that you can supercede any problem before it becomes disruptive to the workplace. Hostile people know how to push your buttons and allow their anger to effect others. The only way to keep them in check is to refuse to play their game and direct time out for them to cool down. Then reassess the situation with them in a cooler state to resolve the circumstance. If this strategy doesn't work the only solution is to end the working relationship. However, making this threat anytime during the performance is not the path to take if the angry employee is ever going to make the change.
Pushy people are part of everyday life. No small business owner makes it through a day without coming in contact with a pushy customer. Pushy people know how to push everybody's buttons. They want control and are determinate to get things their way. As your customers, these arrogant people have to be dealt with with kid gloves as although they have no regard for your feelings their emotions are easily hurt. Dealing with them is completely in your control even if it doesn't always make you feel good. However, a pushy employee must be harnessed from the beginning if the work relationship is going to last. Your business has room for only one boss and that is YOU. The employee who believes (s)he has the answers for everything will attempt to steamroll you at every opportunity. Of course, this eagerness and energy to improve and grow will, at first, take you off guard and may even get you to accept this employee's arrogant behavior. But STOP IT NOW. Insubordinate behavior by one employee is viewed by all other employees as a sign of your weakness and lack of leadership. The good news is that most pushy employees can be channeled in a positive way if they are given a role that has strict boundaries and structure and provides them a feeling of control. Don't lose your cool with the presumptuous employee that acts as though (s)he wants your job. Learn to put the procedures in place where these outliers can thrive and your business will also.
Rudeness seems to be the new rule in social networks. People say and do things today that my father's generation would never have accepted in business. But, times change and so, unfortunately, do people's behavior. However, rude employees are not acceptable in any generation and as the CEO/President/Owner/Boss you deserve respect. Once rudeness enters and is allowed to fester in an organization it takes over like a plague.
Of all the behaviors we have discussed in two blogs (complainers, criticizers, manipulators, procrastinators, angry, and pushy), the rude employee is the one most often given a by because the action is not seen as something that can be ignored. However, the contrary is true. Rudeness is a vicious cycle that will permeate the best of businesses. Rudeness must never be tolerated in the workplace. It is a sign of disrespect and must be eradicated immediately.
Finally, the obstinate person can be found in almost every company. Unfortunately, too often the boss is seen as stubborn and inflexible. However, obstinacy is often a mask for fear. When people are afraid to change or take a risk they revert to being stubborn. The fact is a business needs a leader willing to risk change and employees who follow their lead. When an employee is obstinate it is important to recognize this as their fear of doing anything that feels out of their control. Women entrepreneurs often have a special gift in working with stubborn employees when they demonstrate their patience and willingness to allow the employee to gain self confidence. This is not to say that an unlimited time can be given to rectify stubborn behavior only that change is possible. Providing stubborn employees with strategies to succeed can turn them into productive performers and that's the goal.
Dealing with difficult people is the most challenging part of every women entrepreneur's day but without people - employees, customers, and vendors - there would be no business. Take time to learn how to deal with difficult people. Pay attention to how people push your buttons. There will never be a time when you will be able to control every type of difficult person in your life, but the more you know about yourself the better chance you'll have to keep yourself and your business moving forward.
