The definition of communication according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary is "a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior. However, this simple definition doesn't take into consideration the affect gender, age, culture, emotion, experience, family history, relationship, and other factors play in how information is heard and then processed. The dilemma for all small business owners, and especially women entrepreneurs, is with all the talking YOU do are you really communicating?
In other words, just because you present information to someone doesn't mean what you said was understood. The most challenging problem I hear from my women entrepreneurial clients is "why don't 'they' listen to me?" The 'they' refers to a multitude of people depending on the conversation we are having. Most often, of course, the 'they' is employees. And, generally it is not 'they' but 'he' or 'she'. This leads to a discussion of communication skills.
I could write a book on effective communications skills, and many have, but for the purpose of this blog I'll devote my points to the problems of miscommunication that most often cause trouble in the workplace. YOU refers to the small business owner - in this case woman entrepreneur.
Scenario # (1) Because YOU are so busy juggling a multitude of tasks YOU often tell employees what YOU want from them while you are on the fly. Later YOU wonder why: the task didn't get done; the task wasn't accomplished as YOU had asked; the employee spent more time complaining to others about YOU then doing the work that YOU requested.
Problem: Effective communication between people requires preparation. YOU must prepare not only what you say, but how you say it if YOU really expect to get results. Shouting, or even, whispering orders, as you pass by busy with your day doesn't respect the person YOU are attempting to instruct. Yes, your employees work for YOU and are there to do a job, but they are not mind readers and cannot stop what they are doing or thinking about just because YOU have decided to communicate at that moment.
Solution: Every business, no matter how small, must take time to STOP the day-to-day of running the business and meet to discuss the needs of the business and the needs of the individuals invested in the business. Some businesses do this every day, some once a week, but YOU must focus on communication if you want to be heard. This meeting provides the opportunity for employees to learn how you communicate and gives YOU a chance to learn how they hear YOU. Make sure you state your ideas clearly and ask for questions and feedback so that you know you have been understood. Speak with confidence so that YOU will be taken seriously and listen with respect so that YOU will be respected.
Take mental notes on how each member of your team responds to your talk - for example, most men ask few or no questions and most women ask a lot of questions more to gain rapport than to understand. Tell your team how YOU will communicate as the leader of the team. Prepare them regularly for your style. But, be clear that YOU understand that when they are busy doing their job YOU will make every effort to keep your communication to a minimum until the appropriate time for a conversation.
Scenario # (2) YOU hold office/company meetings once a week and prepare carefully to allow feedback from each individual on the team. YOU are seen by the men in the office as competent, straightforward, focused and visionary. Most of the women in the office see YOU the same way as the men do, except for one woman who always feels she needs your undivided attention, one-on-one, after the team meeting in order to tell YOU her feelings.
Every workplace has a variety of individuals who come from different life experiences and communication dynamics. Over the years, I have witnessed the employee I described above as one of the most loyal on every team. However, her neediness for extra communication, hand holding and focus on her feelings often causes stress for the entire organization.
Problem: YOU want to treat every member of your team equally, but YOU know that this individual requires more time and attention. As a woman entrepreneur, YOU may have more sympathy for her as you understand, although don't thrive on, her need for a more emotional relationship.
Solution: YOU encourage her feedback at the group meeting suggesting your appreciate for her empathic view of the business. Giving her a platform for her feelings acknowledges her as a integral, and equal, member of the team - a perception that she mostly likely hasn't experienced. YOU set boundaries for your time and let everyone know that YOU want one-on-one time regularly with each.
Effective communication is critical to business success. Women entrepreneurs bring a new style to the workplace particularly for members of the opposite sex. But, in my experience gender communication styles are often no more difficult to understand than cultural styles. Every communicator must be aware of and appreciate differences if we are going to be able to establish and maintain relationships in the workplace.
Sometimes it can be as small as choosing the appropriate word for asking for what we want. All the world can use a few more please, thank you and you're welcomes and a few less no problem and no worries.
The bottom line for YOU as a women entrepreneur is to speak up with confidence, with clarity and state the facts and then listen. There is no effective communication without effective listening.
