Why do women have so much discomfort surrounding money? Most specifically, getting paid for what we do?

No one can argue that women and men view money differently. Men clearly determine their self worth according to the amount of money they earn. Women, on the other hand, and particularly women entrepreneurs, fail to see that the amount of money one has determines the amount of power one can wield. 

As a pretend-to-be part time philosopher, better said thought leader, I believe the problem may go back to the 18th century when prostitution is said to have begun. Prostitution is considered the oldest profession and that indicates women were actually paid for their services long before men were. Whether or not this is fact really doesn't matter because as Gandhi said, "Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny." If somewhere deep in our souls there is even a small seed of an idea that what we do as women entrepreneurs rates as "prostituting for money" no wonder we (women) have discomfort surrounding money.

NOW STOP AND HEAR ME ON THIS - I am not saying that men in any way believe this idea. Actually, in my experience men believe that women should be paid for every product or service they provide. In all my business experience, I never had a man call and ask me to provide a service for nothing. On the other hand, and I know I speak for a lot of women entrepreneurs, not a day goes by that many women entrepreneurs and women in business are asked to do something for no pay and then because they feel guilty (or something) do it -- and then complain about it to everyone who will listen.

So again, why is it women don't believe they should get paid for the products and services they have established a business to offer? Just like male entrepreneurs, women entrepreneurs use their talent, energy, time and money to launch a business, so it follows that once in business every customer should realize that their is a fair price to be paid for what's being offered...shouldn't they? Well, of course you say. So, why is it that women feel perfectly comfortable asking another woman entrepreneur to provide her services for less than the going rate? And more importantly, why does the woman entrepreneur hesitate even for a moment in saying, "No."

I continue to say women entrepreneurs must learn that they are not their business. A business requires income in order to pay its expenses. Just because you want to be generous with your time and money does not mean your business should. You must ask yourself, "What is best for the business?"

As a business coach, I meet with both male and female entrepreneurs and the question of how much to value a product or service is much more difficult for women. Male entrepreneurs, typically, have a price in mind for their product and/or service before they even begin writing a business plan.  Why? Because they have clear idea of what they want to earn. As the graph above demonstrates men are almost twice as likely to negotiate their salary before accepting a new job and 68% to 48% to understand that they need to depend on their investments for retirement.

Women entrepreneurs need to ask themselves, "what is my time worth?" "What is my value as a ______?" (fill in the blank with whatever you do for a living).

Several years ago I learned from a very knowledgeable source in the non-profit world that men in business (male entrepreneurs) often negotiate promotion and platform opportunities for their business philanthropy. This same individual told me she had never heard of a woman requesting this type of reciprocation. Of course, this is not to say that women entrepreneurs should not be charitable. Giving back is often one of the greatest motivations women have for being successful.

BUT, if the giving back proceeds the desire to make money, gain power and become successful, then women entrepreneurs have a problem.

Thomas Jefferson said, "Never spend your money before you have it." And I say, "In order to help others, you must first value yourself and use your talents to earn enough money so you can give back."

So, the next time you are asked if you would offer your services for free, take a deep breath and remember how valuable you are - as a business person and as a woman. Let the inquirer know that you would love to help out, but that your business has expenses. Then negotiate a rate. By separating yourself from the business you can give of yourself while at the same time not devaluing the business.

Understanding the value of money to our businesses allows women entrepreneurs to succeed. The oldest profession may actually be a lesson in economics for us all.