With almost 50% of all small businesses in the U.S. being owned and/or operated by women, family succession exit plans are a critical issue. Generations of businesses have been turned over by Dad to Son and now Mom has a business to pass on. The question is, "is there any difference in the exit strategy when Mom is the small business owner?"

I say Yes and No!

In fact, I know a lot of mother and daughter businesses and, for the most part, they work well. However, they were not established with a succession plan in mind - at least not the ones I know about.

Because the women I'm writing about started their businesses later in life and had daughters ready to embark on a career of their own, they realized that by joining forces at the beginning they would be aware of each others strengths and weaknesses. And, to be honest, the best partnerships I know of are those where family is working together. Of course, that is until an exit strategy is discussed.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Succession planning is a process like any other exit strategy plan and it is only successful when it starts early. Five to ten years ahead of a desired exit is suggested for any family thinking of turning over the business to a son or daughter.

Since women typically are more collaborative in their management style working with a son or daughter in the business doesn't necessarily increase workplace stress. However, it also means it may not result in succession training.

For example, I once worked with a mother and daughter in the transition period of the turn over of the business. Mom was ready, willing and able to give up day-to-day operations of the business, but not the decision making. Clearly, the daughter could not run the business without having final say on decisions. Her style was different and her financial skills completely outshined Mom's. But, Mom couldn't cut the apron strings even knowing it was hurting the business. How did we solve this problem?

Mom was sent on a must-needed 2-week vacation. She needed to not only be out of the office and out of her daughter's way, but out of sight of customers, vendors and all the other people who had been her worklife for her past twenty years. You see, for twenty years the business was Mom's life and everything she was was wrapped up in the business -- her friends, her activities, her concept of herself. She wanted retirement, but she had not planned for the transition of not running a business.

Once, she returned she saw how things in the business had changed and how change was good for the business. In other words, she was finally able to see clearly that SHE WAS NOT HER BUSINESS. It was time for her to transition to a new way of life.

Who ever said Mom knows best? Sometimes she knows what's good for her family, but doesn't know what's best for herself. So, when it comes to planning for a turnover of the business to her son and daughter her first priority should be:

Tip (1) What is my transition plan for myself? What will I do with the 8-12 hours a day I now spend working? Where will I find new friends and hobbies to spend time with? How can I move out of my comfort zone with work and into new interests with people, places and things? These questions are the first critical step for women entrepreneurs as they plan an exit.

Tip (2) Just because you want your first born son or daughter to run the business and takeover for you doesn't mean that he or she will want to and be capable to. Objectivity is key to any successful exit plan. What you want may not be what the family member wants. This is a family conversation that should happen early and often in situations where a family business exists. I know many family businesses that go from one generation to the next only to realize one day that the upcoming family member is not interested in staying the course. One such family hired a president to hopefully close the gap between the generation not interested in leading and the grandchildren generation beingt groomed for the job. It's too early to tell if this ambitious strategy will work.

Tip (3) Train your successor. How can you expect your successor, family member or not, to take over and run your business sucessfully if you are not spending the time to train her/him? Generally, I recommend that the family member work ouside the family business first in a variety of businesses closely related to the family business. There is not better training than to work under a diverse group of bosses. This experience allows the individual to learn business skills separate from those used in the family business. Once (s)he is ready to come to the family business and be trained for at least 2 or more years, (s)he will have a broader view of ways to operate a business. (S)he we be able to hit the ground running having learned that there are many ways to operate a business and that success comes to those that have put in the time and effort.

There is no greater thrill than to see a business be successfully transitioned from Mom to daughter or son. The business lives on and the family legacy strengthens. It is important to seek outside help when planning a family business succession. There are many business advisors that specialized in it - legal, accountants, financial advisors, business brokers and even therapists.