What's happened to communication? When I was a young girl, (there I go again) all conversations were in person or on the phone. Sound bites had not been invented ye,t so everything said was basically spelled out so each party knew exactly what was being said and what was expected of each. Today, every woman in business knows what I mean when I say everyone, young and old, male and female, seems to be completely clueless!

Can the problem be blamed on cell phones, email, or text messages? I don't believe so. Too many of my clients (as I know from my own experience), report even face to face communication is no longer effective. The problem isn't really with the talk or information it is with everyone's ability to listen. Have we become so self-involved as a people that we don't take the time to listen and pay attention enough to know what is being said?

The answer of course is YES! The question is what to do about it which is particularly important if you are a woman in business or woman entrepreneur depending on being heard to get what you need or want.

Let's look at a couple of scenarios:

You are a top-producing sales rep in a company that rewards its sales people handsomely. You have a manager that you report to from time to time in order to get approval for large deals and other special circumstances. You go to your manager only when absolutely necessary as you are self-directed and always on top of what needs to be accomplished. But, when you do send the email or make the call for assistance, you are met with what seems to be a clueless response or no response at all. You think, "Why can't this jerk just take action and keep the ball moving? After all, isn't that his/her job?" Of course, this is a rational and sane supposition.

However, aren't you looking at it from only your point of view?

The manager, in this instance, thinks to himself/herself, "This top-producing sales rep is asking me for my guidance. Perhaps, I should take my time in responding to make sure I think through all the scenarios of the situation. As her manager, I want her to know that my role is important in this company."

A communication breakdown has occurred. What the woman in business wants does not match what the manager wants to provide.

Another scenario with a woman entrepreneur involved goes like this:

A very good customer wants the entrepreneur to order her a very expensive piece of jewelry and have it sent to her at her vacation home so that she will be able to wear it for a special vacation. The entrepreneur is happy to accommodate this special customer although she realizes the risk she is taking on the purchase. She accepts a credit card payment for the purchase and makes arrangements to have the specialty piece shipped from the vendor directly to the customer. A couple of weeks later, the customer returns to the store with the jewelry and asks to return it for full credit.

The entrepreneur thinks, "Are you clueless- full credit on a specialty piece of jewelry that I will now need to sell at a discount because it is unlikely the vendor will take the return and you are not even suggesting a store credit?"

Another communication breakdown has occurred. The entrepreneur's needs do not match what the customer says she wants.

In both scenarios, it is the lack of communication that leads the woman in business and the woman entrepreneur to believe that the other person is clueless.

Our conversations today have become so brief and ineffectual it is surprising to me that anyone ever does business with anyone without ending up in a disagreement or in court. And, this doesn't mean we need more contractual agreements in business either. What we do need is more discussion and more listening so that each party is heard.

In our first scenario, the woman in business needs to tell her manager exactly what she needs and when she needs it and schedule an appointment to clarify her manager's role in her business. In a complimentary way, she must share in the desire to build a better working relationship with her manager. The fact is (s)he is not going away and the lack of confrontation only continues delays and frustration for the woman.

In our second scenario, the woman entrepreneur needs to state clearly that she is happy to oblige her customer with the understanding that if a return is necessary that a store credit will happily be granted. Even the best customers change their mind and for the entrepreneur to take a risk of this magnitude is not in the best interest of the business. Entrepreneurs, first and always, must protect what is in the best interest of the business. You are not your business so just because you want to take a risk your business shouldn't.

There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't have what I would call a clueless conversation with someone. But, what I have learned is that every conversation is a two person event. I MUST accept my responsibility in sharing in what I am calling a clueless interaction.

None of us like confrontation, but sometimes it is unavoidable. The sooner you speak up and clarify what is being said the sooner the clueless one will become ENLIGHTENED.