Every time a new book is written about the challenges for women in business in America the topic is discussed, analyzed, dissected, pooh-poohed, and cheered. I am in the camp that celebrates the talk as it brings attention to what women have been fighting for generations - equality.

When I speak to women's groups, I begin my talk with information about the first Women's Rights Convention in 1848. Yes 1848 was the year women congregated for the first time to air their grievances in Seneca Falls, NY. Believe it or not, many of those objections took more than 120 years to rectify. (FYI - women won the right to vote in 1920, and an equal wage for an equal job in 1963, and credit in their own name in 1974).

But, here we are in 2013 and women still face challenges of equality in the workplace. Of course, sometimes women just might be their own worst enemy when they allow themselves to be objectified by men, underpaid because they fear asking for what they are worth and, most egregious, undermined other women.

Women in business are often painted by a broad brush. In other words, every woman working is seen as having the same problems requiring the same solutions. Women know that this is ridiculous as few of us believe any other woman has the same predicaments we deal with day in day out. Of course, this too is an exaggeration. But, when women isolate themselves they become invisible and don't get what they want because they don't take action.

Men are not the enemy. That's right, I said it. As a matter of fact, the best cheerleaders for women in business and women's leadership are men with daughters. The moment that pink bundle of joy was put in their arms they made a commitment that she would have every opportunity to be or do wherever her heart and talents led her.

As was said in a 1968 Virginia Slims (cigarette) commercial, "You've come a long way baby", but I'll add, you still have a way to go. And, my suggestion is that women not just lean in but TAKE THE LEAD.

Here are the facts for just how powerful women in America are today. Women are 52% of the population. Women receive 65% of graduate degrees and are more than 50% of medical, law and undergraduates students. Women control 85% of all consumer purchasing power and if they choose to band together to stop the sale of something, anything, it would happen over night.

That's right, women have power and I believe it is time to stop waiting for permission to lead and, as Nike says, JUST DO IT!

So, if you are still with me and you are ready to take action and become the leader you were meant to be, here are my 10 steps for you as a women leader:

(1) Become less judgmental - support all women. That broad brush I spoke of earlier is used when we demean other women. In other words, when one woman wins all women win.

(2) Stop the divide between career women and stay-at home Moms. It is not a contest for women to prove who does what as we are all on the same side. We need to find common ground. The priority should always be on the next generation.

(3) Don't allow the media to define you, define yourself. If the media had any idea what women in 2013 were actually thinking and doing they wouldn't be polluting the air waves with drivel. Look for women in your community to emulate and model yourself after. They do exist.

(4) Demand equality and let others know you will accept nothing less.

(5) Speak up at work if you feel you are being paid unfairly. Studies show that often women are paid less only because they have not asked.

(6) Support and join women's groups. There is power in numbers and this is why they work. You'll be less likely to fall into times of feeling isolated.

(7) Get visibility inside and outside the workplace. When you don't speak up you are invisible, plain and simple. People don't know of your accomplishments if you don't talk about them.

(8) Stop sexual stereotyping as our sex does not define us. Speak up when others make inappropriate sexual comments

(9) Be a mentor, a role model and willing to share your story. Everyone needs a mentor and can also be mentored.

(10) Make the next generation, of both men and women your priority. Can you imagine if every woman new to an organization was sought out and felt supported? Can you imagine if new men in the organization were able to learn from the women just how the company culture works?

Women in business can't afford to go backward in our quest for equality. As a matter of fact, America has plenty of room for new leaders and timing may finally be in our corner, but it won't happen unless WE (women) commit to become the leaders we were born to be.